Is it possible to go through life without having a friend??? They say that the friends we make are the family we choose. When we say we choose is there any chance to keep in mind that our choice matter and only make good friends??? No, it isn’t simply because like in all dimensions of life, we attract all kinds of people and the circumstances of meeting them also differ.
A friend who may seem be good at the start of the friendship may show off his true colours later on. Nothing can be taken for granted, especially in a friendship. The best example is the friendship between Dronacharya and Drupada. Drupada and Drona were friends in Gurukula, noticing the worried expression on Drona’s face; Drupada discovered that his friend was concerned about how he would earn a living after Gurukula. Drupada assured him that he need not worry since once he is crowned King, he would give half of his Kingdom to Drona. As a King he failed to keep up his promise when Drona came to him remembering the promise made.
Good friends are the ones who are concerned of your welfare and always want you to be comforts. They always wish the good for you, even if it may seem to look as if they are being un-supportive and not with you. They tell you what they really feel and what their actual opinion on the topic in question is, instead of sugar coating the truth or hiding behind lies to please you. With good friends, there is mutual respect for each other and this respect ensures that opinions on either side is always be valued. Sri Krishna and Sudama were good friends in Sandipani Gurukula. Sri Krishna did not promise anything to Sudama and even Sudama did not expect anything from his friend. Just to please his nagging wife Sudama came to Dwaraka with a small bundle of beaten rice which was Krishna’s favourite. Sri Krishna relished the beaten rice and showered the riches on Sudama more than he could have asked for.
There is no “bad friend” as this phrase do not strike well, if one is intentionally bad he is not a friend. Yet this kind of friendship exist and stand on the matter of gain and loss. For the most part of the friendship it is only the gain aspect which keeps them together and if the loss surfaces then there is a crack in their friendship. Many think Duryodhana and Karna were great friends, but my personal feel is that Duryodhana would have made anybody who had the courage to contest against Arjuna his friend and crowned him King of Anga, necessarily not Karna only. H e saw the gain in having Karna as his friend. Though we can say that Karna was loyal to his friend even after knowing that he was the eldest of Pandavas, but it is more important for a friend to lead the other on the right path. Karna in fact inflated the ego of Duryodhana and leading him to wrong path.
The friendship between Sri Krishna and Sudama is Uttama (Superior) as there were no promises yet the welfare of both was the key. The friendship between Duryodhana and Karna is Madhyama (Middling) as the friendship itself was made with an objective; though one was loyal, the friendship was unethical as it seem to be more like feudalistic approach by Duryodhana in his choice of a friend. The friendship of Dronacharya and Drupada is Adhama (Inferior) as there was a promise made and the benefit of the promise was looked for. When it was not fulfilled either if them never hesitated to vanquish each other.
Dear friends, let us make friends without any promises or objectives only then the purity of friendship can be experienced. A friend does not make a promise but will rush to give his maximum support to his friend always.
Happy Mitratva Divas.......:)