Tuesday, May 12, 2015

727. Relating or Relationships which is more important??

http://www.speakingtree.in/public/spiritual-blogs/seekers/self-improvement/relating-or-relationships-which-is-more-important



I became a bit health conscious after experiencing lower backache. I started walking at the park near my house early mornings to reduce weight. On one such session a middle age person coming from opposite direction extended his hand with a broad smile on his face. I took his hand and shook it; the person felt my grip too strong. He later realized that I was not the person whom he thought I was. “I know you have confused me with someone else you know.” I said. The person agreed and smiled again, but as a fine gesture he said my handshake was very firm and he liked the grip. I too smiled at him and we both parted away. I happened to see him the next day and for the whole week we confronted each other. On Sunday we had a little chat on the park bench and we got to know each others profession and occupation.

A month back I did not even know who that person was and now just a mistaken handshake made us both to relate to each other. From this incident I understood that there is no necessity to have and maintain a relationship to relate to a person. Relating is spontaneous as against relationship which is destined. There are many relationships in our life we have and maintain like father-son, mother-daughter, brother-sister and even the most important husband-wife. In some case these relationships have been maintained without relating to each other. Now a question arises what is more important is it to relate to each other or just maintain a relationship?

Why do we fail to relate with those with whom we have a relationship? A father and son are not in talking terms so are brothers, and even worst are some husband and wife even though living under the same roof do not relate with each other.

The only two words to keep a relationship healthy is “Adjust” and “Compromise.” We have been hearing this for ages but we do not know when to adjust and when to compromise. Also we do not know what to adjust with and what to compromise for. As far as I understand Life is a combination of both adjustment and compromise. One has to adjust when someone wants to be with him very badly and he has to compromise with them with whom he would want to be with very badly. 

If it is a little confusing let us look at it this way. We have seen people advising a girl to adjust with his drunkard husband. Is it right for the girl to adjust with a drunkard, no because the husband prefers alcohol to his wife. If the drunkard husband wants his wife, he will have to compromise and shun his drinking habit.

Compromise is to let go something be it a horrible habit or stupid out-dated dogmas in order to create some kind of balance in a relationship. It could become compulsory since the relationship may demand it, or more often than not, because of major ego clash. There is nothing wrong to lose something small to gain someone whom one loves to be with and feel proud and brand themselves “BAAZIGAR.”

To Adjust is a deliberately chosen act which is triggered by our free will. This act may make things better by creating a perfect amalgamation to the relationship. It could become obligatory since the relationship may demand it, or more often than not, because of narcissistic attitude. There is nothing wrong to mould oneself according to the situation by blending with someone who loves to be with and feel proud and brand themselves “JADUGAR.”

One need not be a Baazigar or a Jadugar when there is lots and lots and lots of Pyaar in the Ghar……..What say?????

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