818. Self-Confidence or Self-Conceited????

Atmavishvasa (Self-Confidence) is always confused with Atmasambhavita (Self-Conceited). I have to be confidant but not conceited, if I am one I feel the need to prove something which I know I am not.

A by-product of Atmasambhavita is Swabhimana (Self-Pride). Is it wrong to be a Swabhimani?

No. Self-pride is associated with a sense of responsibility. If I am proud of my country for its culture and tradition then I display my patriotism by being a Swabhimani. Having said that I should not be a Durabhimani (intolerable proud), I should also feel responsible for any defects therein and must voice against those culture and tradition which is not acceptable.

Swabhimana (Self-Pride) is an internal matter while Durabhimana (Intolerable Pride) is external. Too much of Swabhimana is like a two-sided sword, one sharp side being Moha (attachment) and the other Madha (arrogance). Moha due to Swabhimana blinds my eye making it difficult for me to search for the flaws if any, to rectify. Madha due to Swabhimana makes me adamant to accept the flaws pointed out by others.

 “Hypocrisy, pride, self-conceit, wrath, arrogance and ignorance, O Partha, arise in one born of the Demonic nature” says Sri Krishna to Arjuna in Gita. Further Sri Krishna uses a word “Amanittvam” which is being Non-Conceited which He refers to as one who does not exaggerate the sense of one's own self, skills, personality, stature, etc. This is being modest.

The one who is modest is the one who has Self-Confidence as he accepts himself as completely as he is. He is aware of his strength and his weakness and more importantly he would think of transforming his weakness to his strength. Sri Krishna says this self-respect comes only from living a Dharmic life, and not from any achievement.

With just the Self-Conceited and without Self Confidence there is craving for a false sense of worth. It is here that one wants praise, attention and applauds. After posting a write-up or uploading a photo he want multiple likes in Facebook, he get upset when people ignore them with no response. 

One who is confident of what he has posted knows the worth of what has posted and hence he is not worried about the count of likes. He is also aware that the like for the post is not for him but for the substance in the write-up.